The girls are celebrating Cinco de Mayo at a local bar when  an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the women could not take thereyes away from him. The young man noticed the one girl's overly attentive stare & walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring, the young man said to her, 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100, on one condition.' Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The young man replied, 'You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.'   The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which she pressed into the young man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Clean my house."

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat. Then he went about his fishing.  An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.  For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."  The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.  The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

My friend Ed tells me his boss phoned him yesterday on his cell.  His boss asked, "Is everything okay at the office?"  My friend Ed told him, "Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped for a minute."  "Can you do me a favor?" his boss asked.  My friend Ed said, "Of course, anything, what is it?"  His boss said, "Hurry up and take your shot, I'm right behind you on the 7th hole."

A listener would like to share an experience with us about drinking and driving.  A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends at Los Gallos  and had a few too many Margaritas and some rather nice Mexican food. Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a bus home.  Sure enough I passed a police road block but as it was a bus, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident which was a real surprise, as I had never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it.